(This video chapter begins at 13:40 and ends at 15:25. Click on the 13:40 timestamp to play the video for this module.)

The Short Version Of The Process

So far, we have explored the six phases of the conflict resolution process in depth. As we discussed earlier, these phases can be adapted for virtually any type of conflict. In this module, we will work through an abridged version of the processes that can be used easily to successfully resolve conflicts. We will also look at some individual steps that can be used as conflict resolution and prevention tools.

Our focus quote for this module:

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood”.- Stephen Covey

Evaluating The Situation 

To begin, we will combine all the groundwork into a single step.

• Phase One (Creating an Effective Atmosphere): Take a moment to calm down and deal with your emotions. Look at the possible positive outcomes of the conflict.
• Phase Two (Creating a Mutual Understanding): Quickly evaluate your wants and needs, and those of the other party. Try to identify the real issue.
• Phase Three (Focusing on Individual and Shared Goals): Identify common ground.

This information can be gathered in just a few moments, and it will help you identify the most appropriate conflict resolution approach. (Remember the five approaches that we looked at in Module Two.) Although we promote the collaborative approach, there are situations where other approaches are more appropriate and beneficial.

Choosing Your Steps 

Now, let’s work through phases four and five. Think about the current conflict. Is it really the root cause or is it just a symptom of a larger problem? (Most often, it’s just a symptom.) How could the problem be resolved?

Make a short list of possible solutions, even if it’s just in your head. Now we’re ready to move on to the next phases.

Creating An Action Plan 

Once you have some ideas on how to resolve the conflict, do a quick evaluation. What do you want and need out of the solution? What might the other party need? Use these to sketch out a solution. (Remember, if you’re going to propose a solution, the other party is going to want to know what’s in it for them, so make sure you have something to offer.)

Have a backup plan, too, in case your approach doesn’t work. This could be a different solution, a different way of presenting your original solution, or even a proposal to move to a more complex resolution process. Simply have some ideas in your back pocket in case your original approach doesn’t work.

Using Individual Process Steps 

In this workshop, we have outlined the various conflict resolution phases in a particular order and with a particular grouping. That doesn’t mean that you have to use all the phases all the time. Most of the items we have discussed can be used individually as conflict prevention or resolution tools.

Here are some examples.

• A new person has joined your team. She is very quiet and the team (yourself included) is having a hard time getting to know and like her. You use some of the tools we discussed today to build common ground with her and improve teamwork.
• Lately, team status meetings have gotten out of hand. People talk over each other, argue constantly, and often leave the room. You suggest implementing ground rules for these meetings.
• One of your colleagues often behaves very aggressively. You find it very difficult to communicate with him because you find him so intimidating. You use emotional neutralization techniques to focus on your message and reduce the impact of his behavior.

Practical Illustration

Ruben stormed out of a department meeting in a heated rush. Paul tried to stop him, but his words flew right over Ruben’s head. Ruben didn’t want his schedule to be changed, but he had no words to explain his dilemma. Instead of listening to Paul, Ruben would avoid and ignore Paul’s attempts to help. Paul finally cornered Ruben in his office and made him listen to reason. After finally taking the time to listen to his colleague, Ruben started to ease up. Paul’s words were turning Ruben’s attitude around, slowly but surely. Ruben admitted what really had him upset, and having Paul there to listen to his venting helped him.