(This video chapter begins at 10:35 and ends at 11:59. Click on the 10:35 timestamp to play the video for this module.)

Generating Options 

Once you have a good handle on the conflict, it’s time for all parties in conflict to start generating some options for resolution. In this stage, it’s all about quantity, not quality; you want as many options to choose from as possible.

Our focus quote for this module:

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see ” – Henry David Thoreau

Generate, Don’t Evaluate

To begin, generate ideas for resolving the symptoms of the conflict. Then, move on to the root cause and expand your list of ideas.

Don’t be afraid to throw out wacky ideas or to ask, “What if?” Remember, this stage is about what you can do, not what you will do.

It is very important not to censor yourself or the person with whom you are having the conflict. Record all possible ideas into a list or brainstorming diagram. If you have created a cause and effect diagram, you can record ideas for resolution right on the diagram. (Once again, sticky notes are ideal for this initial, idea-generating phase.)

At this stage, all your work to build common ground and positive relationships will really start to pay off. As you and the person you are in conflict with start to generate options, the positive energy will build, increasing your creative output exponentially.

If you are having trouble thinking of solutions, use these questions to jump-start your creativity.

• In an ideal world, how would this conflict be resolved?
• How do we not want this conflict to be resolved?
• How might others resolve this conflict?

Creating Mutual Gain Options & Multiple Option Solutions 

Once you have a good list of options, look over the list, and perform some basic evaluation.

• Cross off options that are an absolute no-go for either party.
• Highlight options that provide gains for both parties.
• Look for options that can be combined for an optimal solution.
• Make options more detailed where appropriate.
• Continue brainstorming and generating ideas.

What if your entire list of options gets crossed off? Then it’s back to the drawing board! If you are having trouble coming up with ideas, consider taking a quick break, moving the brainstorming meeting elsewhere, and/or involving outside parties.

Digging Deeper Into Your Options 

Once the list has been narrowed down, dig deeper into each option and identify the following:

• The effort for each option (perhaps on a scale of one to ten)
• The payback for each option (also on a scale of one to ten)
• Your estimation as to its likelihood of success
• Other options that could be used to complement it
• Each party’s preference for it (expressed as yes/no, or a percentage in favor)

At this point, we are still gathering information and exploring options, so try to make the list as long as possible. For simple conflicts, three to five options is usually sufficient, but with more complex issues, five to eight options may be necessary. If the team involves more than two people, you will likely need eight to twelve options.

Practical Illustration  

Vern had never felt confident enough to share his ideas at department meetings, while his colleague, John, thought his own ideas were perfect. Vern remained quiet and thought that his own ideas weren’t important. His coworker, Joanne, noticed Vern’s reluctance and suggested that he should share. He cleared his throat, sat up taller in his seat, and began to share his thoughts on where the department should be focusing. Despite John’s stammering, “What about me?!” All eyes were on Vern and ready to hear his contributions. His confidence renewed, Vern gave detailed data about his idea and won the praises of those around him. From then on he never shied away from meetings.